We love kids. Really, we do. After a few years of raising our own, however, we’re noticing something: Sometimes they are just like tiny intoxicated adults. This is our not-so-definitive list.
- They’ll fall asleep anywhere. Anytime.
- Their speech is slurred and usually sounds like a random mesh of words instead of coherent sentences.
- They’ll put anything in their mouth. Especially the gum under the table.
- They have no filter: They say whatever they think, at whatever volume they choose.
- Their clothes are on backwards, if they’re dressed at all, and shoes on the wrong feet and they’re just like “Whatever, I do what I want.”
- When out in public they frequently lose items of clothing like shoes, purses, and hats.
- They trip and fall. A lot.
- Their preferred diet includes pizza, candy, chicken nuggets, and milkshakes with sprinkles. And anything fried.
- It’s not surprising to find them running around with bunny ears on in November. (Any random costume element, really)
- They laugh hysterically at “inappropriate” jokes.
- They get excited over bubbles and other small things.
- If you bring them to a party, you’ll never be invited back because they *think* they are the life of the party.
- Like, they really amuse themselves.
- They have no personal bubble.
- The rest of your friends may not appreciate them the way you do and don’t care for your oversharing of their antics on Facebook.
Kids. We love ’em and they are certainly blessings from the Lord but they can be crazy at times.
(This list is an extension of one used in the latest Dead Reckoning Radio episode and was compiled with the help of Molly Friesen)